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Maybe you've never thought of the Bible as a book of stories that sometimes can be really funny, weird and can make you laugh!
We encourage you to rethink that and spend some time looking at stories that are included in the book of God's word and guidance.
For instance - there is the story of the Really Fat King that was stabbed while he sat on the...."other throne" . He was so fat that the folds covered the knife and his assistants didn't disturb him because they thought he was constipated and that's why he was sitting there so long. The minor prophet that had killed him had plenty of time to escape the roof and the city while the King's Assistants waited for him to finish his "business" on the toilet.
Ehud has done what he came to do. The Lord has raised Ehud up as Israel's deliverer (Judges 3:15–16), and now Ehud has thrust his sword into the obese guts of Israel's enslaver, King Eglon of Moab (Judges 3:18–21)
I find the image of the Assistants standing at the door to the "throne" room (toilet) for an embarrassing amount of time waiting for the King to "finish" to be funny.
Then there is the story about Elijah the bald headed prophet. Walking to Bethel a bunch of kids started yelling insults at him...He didn't take it well and turned around and cursed the youth in the name of God and suddenly two big bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the kids...meanwhile Elijah just kept walking. Before you think what a mean bald guy...you should know that God loves Bald guys ....Leviticus 13:40-44 “A man who has lost his hair and is bald is clean. 41 If he has lost his hair from the front of his scalp and has a bald forehead, he is clean.
That's a scripture Bald guys can use to get a lot of respect!
These are just a few of the stories in scripture. There is a little bit of everything in the Bible...war, spies, sarcastic prophets, I was surprised how often it's mentioned that someone had gone to the potty and there was trouble. You can find salacious stories, stories that make you laugh and stories that will gross
you out. It's not a boring book about old stories and from the old testament to Revelation it is full of stories and guidance and seeing the love of Jesus even when he was hanging on the cross. There's a reason it's the most sold book. Pick it up again, and see what we mean!