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In times of trouble, where do you run for refuge? In times of trouble, where am are you tempted to run for refuge?
For years I knew God was my refuge, but when troubles would arise I would find myself not turning to God but trying to figure things out another way. I have often asked God why, why do I continue to go this route? I have fallen on my knees seeking God for answers.
I turned to God and I realized what needs to be done but still often wonder why in the times I am seeking refuge do I turn to others for assurance looking for someone to say, you're right or you're doing good, and why do I work so hard to try and receive that form others.
Our Pastor preached on the goodness of God one Sunday, about God being our refuge. It clicked...when trouble comes I am tempted to turn to others to seek assurance because that's what I did when I was younger. I never really received what I was looking for, which is why I would try to hard to but never felt fulfilled.
I would work so hard and do things to make sure I was seen and noticed by doing good things and things for others...seeking what I was looking for, which I also did when I was younger, but again I never received what I was looking for and continued that for many years. Never learning that all I was seeking all I was wanting would come from God.
I am happy to share that the Lord has shown me that He is my refuge and all I need. He has shown me the why and how I can move from that way of thinking but to always remember where I have come from to learn and grow from that. I am thankful for the Lord and His goodness.
Psalm 139: 1-7 says:
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!
This chapter has been brought to my attention many times and though I have read it many times before this portion stood out to be this time. The Lord opened my eyes to a question I had been asking for a while.... why do I do this?
He has delivered me from so much but I still wondered why I would seek others and not Him. I just wanted to better understand. The clarity of the Lord is great. The Lord knows me and when it's time and I am ready for such knowledge He will show me. His Spirit is always working.
Don't stop growing. Always pray. God is always working and moving. He will reveal what is needed when the time is right.